Aug 25, 2009

The Redneck Dictionary, Part 2

More on How to Speak Redneck:

AH: The thing you see with, denoting individuality. 

Usage: "Ah think Ah've got somethin' in mah ah."

ALL: A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

AST: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal
 moonshine stills. 

Usage: "Don't ast me so many question. It makes me mad."

ATTAIR: Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire. 

Usage: "Pass me attair gravy, please"

AWL: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines.

Usage: "Ah like attair car, but it sure does take a lot of awl."

BAHS: A supervisor.

Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

BARD: Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

BAWL: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. 

Usage: "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."

BLEEVE: Expression of intent or faith. 

Usage: "Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday."

BOB WAR: A sharp, twisted cable.

Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

CENT: Plural of cent. 

Usage: "You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give fiddy cent for it."

CO-COLA: The soft drink that started in Atlanta and conquered the world. 

Usage: "Ah hear they even sell Co-cola in Russia."

CYST: To render aid.
Usage: "Can Ah cyst you with those packages, ma'am."

DAYUM: A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind."

Usage: "Frankly,my dear, I don't give a dayum."

DID: Not alive.

Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR: A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).

Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

ETLANNA: Atlanta.

EVER WHICH AWAYS: To be scattered in all directions.

Usage: "You should have been there when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew ever which aways.

FAR: A state of combustion that produces heat and light; a conflagration. 

Usage: "Ah reckon it's about time to put out the far and call in the dawgs." 
"If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things
gonna catch far."

FARN: Not local.

Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

FLARES: The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant.

Usage: "If yo wife's mad at ya, it's smart to take her some flares."

(1) Measure of distance
(2) Because of or to indicate possession.

(1) "It's a fur piece ta Etlanna."

(2) "Fur yew ta get attair new car yew gotta go see Bubba bout a loan."

GOOD OLE BOY: Any Southern male between age 12 and 70 who has an amiable disposition and is fond of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin', huntin', and good lookin' women, but not necessarily in that order. 

Usage: "Bubba's a good ole boy."

GRIYUTS: What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits. 

Usage: "Ah like griyuts with butter and sawt on'em, but Ah purely love'em with red-eye gravy."

GUMMIT: An often-closed bureaucratic institution.

Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!

HALE: Where General Sherman is going for what he did to Etlanna. 

Usage: "General Sherman said "War is Hale" and he made sure it was."

HAZE: A contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

HEAVY DEW: A request for action.

Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

HEP: To aid or benefit. 

Usage: "Ah can't hep it if Ah'm still in love with you."

HOT: A blood-pumping organ.
 HOD - Not easy.

Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

IDINIT: Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't. 

Usage: "Mighty hot today, idinit?"

IGNERT: Not smart.

Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

JAWJUH: A highly flammable state just north of Florida.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

JEW: Did you.

Usage: "Jew want to buy attair comic book, son, or just stand there and read it here?"

JU-HERE: A question.

Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"

KUMPNY: Guests. 

Usage: "Be home on time. We's havin' kumpny for supper."

LAW: Police, or as Southerners pronounce it, "PO-leece". 

Usage: "We better get outta here. That bartender's doen called the law."

LIKKER: Whiskey; either the amber kind bought in stores or the homemade white kind that
federal authorities frown upon.

Usage: "Does he drink? Listen, he spills more likker than most people drink.'

LOT: Luminescent.

Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

MASH: To press, as in the case of an elevator button.

Usage: "Want me to mash yo floor for you, Ma'am?"

MUCHABLIGE: Thank you. 

Usage: "Muchablige for the lift, mister."

MUNTS:  A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

NAWTHUN: Anything that is not Southern. 

Usage: "He is a classic product of the superior Nawthun educational system."

OVAIR: In that direction. 

Usage: "Where's yo paw, son?" He's ovair, suh."

PHRAISIN: Very cold. 

Usage: "Shut that door. It's phraisin in here."

PLUM: Completely.

Usage: "Ah'm plum wore out."

RANCH: A tool.

Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh
bard a few munts ago."

RATS: Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

RETARD: To stop working.

Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

RETCH:  To grasp for.

Usage: "The right feilder retch over into the stands and caught the ball."

SAAR: The opposite of sweet. 

Usage: "These pickles Sure are saar."

SEED: Past tense.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"


Usage: "Nobody could drive a Shovelay like Junior Johnson."

SINNER: Exact middle of. 

Usage: "Have you been to the new shoppin' sinner."


QUARSH: A vegetable; To flatten.
Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"

SUGAR: A kiss.

Usage: "Come here and give me some sugar."

TAR: A rubber wheel.

Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup

TAR ARNS: A tool employed in changing wheels. 

Usage: "You cain't change a tar without a tar arn."

TARRED: Exhausted; fatigued.

Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
"Ah'm too tarred to go bowlin' nonight."

TIRE: A tall monument.

Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime."

UHMURKIN: Someone who lives int he United States of Uhmurka. 

Usage: "Thomas Jefferson was a great Uhmurkin."

VIEW: Contraction.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

WAR: Metal strands attached to posts to enclose domestic animals. 

Usage: "Be careful and don't get stuck on that bob war."

WARSH: To clean.

Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"

WHUP: To beat or to strike. 

Usage: "OOOEEE!!! Yer mama's gonna whup you fer sayin' a cuss word."

YANKEE SHOT: A Southern child's navel. 

Usage: "Momma, what's this on mah belly?" "That's yo Yankee Shot."

ZAT: Is that.

Usage: "Zat yo dawg?"


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