Sep 28, 2009

Redneck Joke

Redneck Trading:

Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store.

At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joe Bob to finish waiting on another customer.

When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked, "How much for the teapot?" 

Joe Bob replied "That's silver and it costs $100!" 

"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed.  
She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, 
and Jo Bob went to the backroom to find a hinge. 

From the backroom Joe Bob yelled "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?" 

To which Mary Louise replied, "No, but I will for that there teapot."

Sep 1, 2009

Redneck Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger double wide trailer) so, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife (also his cousin) didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem.

The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me. I don't want to go deaf!"

So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion.
The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama.
This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5...", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand...