Aug 21, 2009

Redneck 101

Learn To Speak Redneck:

1. The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving = Not overly intelligent.

2. As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party (self-explanatory).

3. Tighter than bark on a tree = Not very generous.

4. Big hat, no cattle = All talk and no action.

5. We've howdied but we ain't shook yet = We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.

6. He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow = He has a pretty high opinion of himself.

7. She's got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth = That woman can talk.

8. It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs = We really could use a little rain around here.

9. Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly = Appearances can be deceptive.

10. This ain't my first rodeo = I've been around awhile.

11. He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch = Not the most handsome of men.

12. They ate supper before they said grace = Living in sin.

13. Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope = Stop arguing and do as you're told.

14. As full of wind as a corn-eating horse = prone to boasting.

15. You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits = You can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn't change what it is.

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